Decoupling Her Majesty from the Large Poltroon Collider

H/T Goodnight Vienna

The speech itself was very short in comparison with previous years and the main points were:

'Enhancing' governance of the financial sector, = no more loopholes for YOU.

Legislation to halve the budget deficit= starvation and filth for YOU

Widening the provision of free personal care for those in highest need= Tightening the requirements for YOU so you’ll get none

Legislation guaranteeing to raise educational standards=educational standards for amoeba

'Protecting' communities by making parents take responsibility for their children's behaviour=we will steal YOUR children even more freely now

Amending the communications infrastructure to 'make it fit for the digital age'=YOU are excluded

Supporting carbon capture and storage and helping 'vulnerable households with energy bills'=my mates the Rothschilds

Protecting communities from flooding and protecting water supplies=FEMA camps and rationing for YOU

Addressing differences in pay between men and women=YOU’LL all be poor now

Ensuring agency workers are treated equally=everyones a slave

Pushing on with constitutional reform=Oligarchy Direct

Strengthening the bribery law=WE want prepayment guaranteed

Banning cluster bombs=They ruin the atmos at OUR garden parties.

Two DAFT bills were also announced:

To reform the House of Lords and make it substantially or wholly elected=BY OUR moneyed interests

To make binding the commitment for 0.7% of government spending from 2013 to be on International Development.=YOU’LL pay for OUR mates in tax havens trousering YOUR tax PAID DEBT, and you children and their children and their children for ever and ever and ever ……HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH.

Large cloud of sulphur then appeared and it was all over in a flash.