Sunday, 16 August 2009

What if UK plc?

Some say that this coming weekend is the last weekend of the current unbent world. Afterwards the earth will bend and what is will have gone and what is not will be.

So with that in mind what is not UK plc?

Service Upstairs Downstairs Style. With no money and no skills all that the people could do was sell their bodies.

No private gardens. With no food every square inch of land was nationalised. There was no money for fuel so all the land that was put under tree by Terry Wogan at public expense circa 1990AD was left untouched. However everyone was ordered to grow leeks and turnips in their gardens. PCSOs and assorted nose pokers kept an eye that you didn’t eat any of the produce because it wasn’t yours. It was all going overseas to feed people with real moneee.

No children. With no money or food all males will be sterilized and breeding forbidden. Only the fittest females will be allowed a baby in a box and then only after posting a bond valued at the childs estimated costs to society before revenue streams are projected to start. The brainier the child the more expensive the bond.

Public executions. With no food and no money the remaining serfs will need to be entertained by lead pilling the scum that did for Baby P for example.

No prisons. With no food and no money prisoners will not exist. One transgression and you will get lead pilled.

Rabid belief systems. With no food and no money all benefit recipients will be cast adrift. There will be no pensions. No child tax credits. No invalidity benefits. No nothing. That means a rise in rabid belief systems as those facing potential starvation sign up to anything that will put gruel on their plates.

No country dwellers. With no money only the elite can afford life off city. The whole landmass of UKplc will be a Chase except the floating city. Having spent fortunes on keeping great houses open to the public, refurbished and modernized at public expense, they will be handed over to the people with real monee who can pick up where the Edwardians left off. Serfs never again to darken the doorsteps. Well done National Trust!!!!!!

No travel. Everyone will be assigned their village and just like the 17th century never move more than 2 miles from their doorstep.

No writing. Everything will be symbolic.

No tongues. Why do you need to speak?

No union. Scotland, NI, Wales, Dumnonia, you name it they can have it. Only the floating city counts and these clowns are now a drag on it’s wealth.

Sweet. So a population of around 1 Million for the entire UKplc.

The Floating City will comprise all land inside the M25 and NOAHide laws will be statute there.

In some ways I find this scenario strangely attractive.

Heads up.