S has decided to check out the latest cyber war control centre in person rather than by remote viewing. S feels the sovereign’s presence will boost morale. S takes Hose and TLHE. S will be given a ceremonial tour by Strap who’s already on site wearing his PPE.
As S and entourage warp into the Command Information Centre we find Colonel Crecidikable Tally Vann having trouble finding Strap.
“Sir, for fucks sake it’s between your nuts, as I told you before you put it on. That’s the last place a bloke would ever forget about no matter how phase shifted he was.” CCTV roared.
God she was fed up with this twat. He wouldn’t be warned, no, as soon as he saw the CiC’s only full spectrum phase shift suit he had to try it on. Wouldn’t take a warning. Her beloved Cecil was out there in Afghanistan having to recycle bullets from dead skooks so they could afford this high tec majik shit here in Blighty and the Crown’s Top Brass could only fuck about in her Cyber bunker “trying on the trick stuff”. She’d like to lead pill him right there and then. CCTV fumed.
“I can’t see my nuts, I can’t feel my nuts and I can’t find my nuts” Wailed Strap as he crashed into another bank of Barky Water filters.
“Sir stand still at least we KNOW where you are now…. ‘Tention Admiral on the Bridge.” CCTV barked and stood rigidly to attention.
The CiC was run on Fleet Law since it wasn’t strictly on terra firma, though theoretically located just under Dick Toasters underground station at the end of the Piccalilli Line, it floated free in time and space. Hence S was in full Admiral of the fleet regalia.
Hose immediately warped out within Heisenberg range of S ready to take one. TLHE swept around the CiC in his robes. He loved swishing.
CCTV appraised S of the situation. Strap, ordered to remain stationary whilst CCTV briefed S, sulked.
“Now then Colonel” silked S “I want to be brought up to speed concerning our current operation in what they call Main Stream Media”
“Yes your majesty.” CCTV’s chest swelled, recognition at last.” As of Q2 2008 we started the full Hegelian dialectic within MSM supporting the John Dee main event. Disrupting our main MSM assets within the conventional MSM by bringing our two Trojan horse CyberMSMs to public attention. We did this through several vectors but as you know the tried and tested is Hegelian. That as we expected resulted in the rolling of several heads in the conventional MSM/Parliamentary asset inventory. Once the conventional MSM envelope had been pushed, and unknown to them essentially expanded, we then inserted our CyberMSM assets into the expanded envelope and healed the breech. Mission accomplished. We now have full MSM cover for the main event.” CCTV beamed, her pure white combat flash suite stretched with satisfaction.
“Wonderful, wonderful” smiled S. “And just remind me of how we can now use our new deep cover officers offensively?”
“That Admiral could only be reported by my immediate superior, who is currently trapped inside the CiC’s Shift Suit” Replied CCTV.
“Clever girl” thought S.
“Admiral. Do I have permission to release Sir Strap” CCTV’s heart beat faster. “Yes, immediately if you would please, we have not much time” S quipped.
CCTV stepped over towards Strap and delivered a good well judged boot to the happy sacks area. The only tried and tested way to get a tit out of a phase suite without any further fannying around. Strap sagged to the ground and the suit peeled off.
Hose phased in. S, Hose and TLHE immediately warped out. Leaving a faint sulphurous odour in the CiC. Strap clasped his nuts. CCTV focussed on the future and was happy.
Back under the drawing room five minutes before.
“Your majesty what happened?” whined TLHE rearranging his frocks. This was most unusual.
“Der Fuhrertochter will gate in the Chamber in five minutes. Despite your reassurances to the contrary things are going to get scary” Thundered S.