Friday, 19 June 2009

Fiction is stranger to fact.

Once upon a time very, very recently in a quiet sunny drawing room in a big house near the big smoke on a pastoral island just off a massive landmass on a beautiful blue/green planet circling round a wondrous golden electric sun, swaying gently through the spiral arms of a galaxy very, very near………just up the road in fact.

“Welcome Zorzi please sit”

“Thank you your majesty”

“How’re mi bawbees looking”

“Not good your majesty!”

“Explain”

“Well the stupid fucks in the colonies, as you know, totally screwed up the 2007 plan. So we’ve got the tanking of the Pan Galactic Pyramid Selling Scheme, without the concomitant martial law conditions. We now know their patriots somehow restored their chain of command, but the WMD are missing”

“I know all this PIGPISS shit, cut to the chase. Bawbees!!!”

“Apologies. Of course our friends in their financial system have been shovelling as much of their treasure our way as they can since Q3 2008, but the awareness of contagion has spread to rival shamanic forces and I’m afraid to say that we have reached the point where we have to take control of the crush and call the……”

“For phekks sake Zorzi is it time to start taking the ceremony outside the alchemical financial paradigm?. Yes or NO!!!!”

“YES”

“Thankyou, dismissed”

“Send in STRAAAAPP.” Sound of sparking horseshoes approaching. “Ah, Strap. SITREP please Strap”

“All our forces will be in their correct ceremonial positions as of Q2 2009. Excellent progress has been made in evacuating the mainland of any threat to the necromincing power, complete by Q3 2009. Continental SLBM force was taken offline by the January incident as planned.”

“And the colonials”

“ALL resources are ceremonially co synchronous for any cthulic eventuality”

“Good, dismissed”

Sound of retreating sparking whoreshoes.

Silence.

“Your majesssththty called”

“Are the ceremonial grounds prepared for blood sacrifice?”

“Yessttth your Majesssththty”

“090909 it is then. Depart”