Saturday, 20 April 2013

We walked.

By mistaken choice I traveled, through the new born filled, tagged, fields, by dead reckoning, still snow naked and banked in the dry stoned shadow. So far and the hairs on my head greyed, I froze my glaze, hyper viscous to the vitrified earth. I remembered my friend who took me to Finsbury bowling, and I tramped my footfall, stalled. All gone but loved, all failed by love, ever missed and we walked. Through never before strode, by me, into the duck egged blue green, into life. They were all there, so many black. The road was, as I remarked to my fellow sole burner and later to my life, it was Romanesque. Surprisingly straight as a non scalar.

Did I graze your eyes when you, stilled, saw me? Am I phramed in our cominatagation? Into the green, verdant land, where peace and new life are gambling.

The next day I sat, if you know where I was, and looked at the nothing. What I saw was how it used to be when my existence was in shorts. The halt of all traffic, by uniformed authority, by common decency, by consent, as the Glasgow bus departed, on time, always, the great red building. Northward my peepers were dispersed, to the thriving market, and I watched the blue and the green, heading out of the Banked street, quieter were their flows, they could integrate with the ebb much more easily than the mainline, as they headed to the coast.

As we tired, my mistake, trying to zero in anti clockwise, left and left and left again. We watched the dust being driven by the farm machinery. So much snow in the previous week and yet so arid the ground. Activity was aplenty as the winding road, or rod, chains, cables meandered to the other edge of town, we were not lost but I had lost my bearings. Nothing could be done other than plod on passed the red handed, blackberry stained digits and palms of my foolishness.

I awaited, how many?

Those who are gone.

I found again, by accident, your funeral service Lula.

Van, Helen Steiner Rice, Lennon sung by Nail, Kiki/Carmelo Luggeri.

I surrender the fight
I have no desires
I am home again
Peaceful waters calm the restless fire

Wake me from this sleep
Bring me hope and prayers to keep
Our hearts cannot be divided
Where rivers meet

In dreams I wake
Steal away from the night
With no words said
Breathe the silence in the morning light

Wake me tenderly
Blood of my blood
Hidden so deep
Our hearts cannot be divided
Where two rivers meet

Never forgotten, always remembered, forever stored in my heart.